Filed under: Children, Motherhood, Parenting, lucky, weekend getaways | Tags: gold country, Parenting
My daughter left today to go on a trip to the Gold Country. She was nervous. I hovered. Big step for both of us. My little one took another step out of the nest. The house is quiet even with my boisterous son playing on his beloved ripstick. Just a moment I want to capture.
My daughter and I had a long discussion about the tiger attack at the San Francisco zoo last night. She has been very curious about the tiger killing incident.
We talked about it a bit and after a brief moment of silence she said, “Well, I guess you should never taunt a tiger.”
I told her that was a good motto for life.
The thought relates to the Oprah show based on the book, The Gift of Fear. The theme of the book is about trusting your instincts. For example, if an animal senses danger, it doesn’t feel bad about it or question it. It runs for its life or prepares to fight to the death. The author pointed out that only humans will get into an elevator with someone they sense is unsafe in order to “be nice.” Your basic jungle animal wouldn’t even think about. They’d be running. I am taking this to heart and I am going to discuss it with my children.
I want my son and daughter to lead a life where they neither live in fear, nor seek danger, but are savvy enough and mentally strong enough to stay away from predators of all sorts. May they never be in a situation where they taunt a tiger of any kind.
Filed under: Children, Motherhood, School, Uncategorized | Tags: Children, fun, Motherhood, School
January, 2008
My seven year old son and I are driving to school a few days after the holiday break ended. He casually mentions, “I can’t wait for school to end.”
Why, I asked?
“Cuz I am going to party, party, party.”
I sat in mute silence. Am I in trouble or what when he is a teen?
My little dog barks incessantly when my son’s remote control car is on the move. The car is black and blue and makes a loud high pitched whirring sound when it is underway. My dog is certain she is going to be attacked by it at any moment. In fear and aggression, she barks, jumps away, it moves, she barks, it moves, she jumps. Our little white dust mop of a dog doesn’t stand a chance against the Darth Vader like car. Knowing this, maybe, I will just let it run until its batteriessss runnnnnnnnnnnn out of powwerrr…But then I hear my kids quietly trying to soothe her, “its o.k. Ping, it’s ok. whirrr, bark, jump, whirr, it’s o.k. I usually head to the garage for some quiet at this point and to do the laundry. When I come back up, she has decided to strike fear into the heart of the vacuum. A festival of noise, that’s my home when noisy machinery is on the prowl. Protect us Ping from the evils of cleaning and motorized fun. And those barking dogs on the telly. I will miss the cacophony when they are old and gone. But in the moment, I long for blissful, peaceful silence. Anyway, I think I do.
My dog experienced thunder for the first time at 2:00 a.m. last night. She decided to bark at it incessantly. Miracle of miracles, it did stop every time for a bit and then back it came. It was literally like Pavlov’s dog, barking = bad noise goes away. The thunder reinforced her behavior. If only she could stop the thunder. A long, loud night of rolling thunder, incessant barking. She weighs 10 pounds. She didn’t stop the thunder, just killed any chance of sleep for me for the remainder of the night. Yes, I brought her into my room, up on the bed for the remainder of the night. But what happens if I am not home? How do I calm her? Did I mention how tired I am? Really really tired.
I found a site that predicts storms. Next time, I will be prepared.
I was awoken in the middle of the night by my young son. The first night he called me to tell me his bed was mysteriously wet. I said,”you wet the bed.” He replied, “No, I didn’t”. I suddenly realized that if a young boy does not think he if of an age to do such a thing, fact will not win especially at 3:00 a.m. So, I said “fine, let’s just change it.” He fell asleep, I laughed to myself and everyone went back to sleep.
I often think of motherhood as an adventure, a new way to travel through life. I am an older mom and never thought I would acquiesce to pure fiction as fact, but then I never ran into three year old logic on a regular basis way back then.
Last night, he woke me again. This time because he was scared. I laid down beside him until I felt him slip quietly back to sleep. I don’t mind these nightime moments. I know he will soon no longer need me and these peaceful moments in the night will fade away. I don’t miss the terrible exhaustion of babyhood, but I do miss the soft baby quietly falling asleep next to me. It felt so right and still does. In this world, where I often feel awkward and out of place, I recall those moments of pure clarity, pure happiness, pure purpose.
Filed under: Africa, Children, Motherhood, Parenting, bay area, beaches, camping, dining, travel, weekend getaways
As a full-time working mom, I often wish I could travel with my kids more often. I am limited by the American standard of two weeks vacation (who came up with that?) and by money or lack thereof. Traveling with a family of four is expensive unless we go camping and my husband refuses to have anything to do with tents. I dream of taking my family on safari to Africa, a historical tour of Boston or even just a long weekend a few hours drive away. For the past few months, I have felt trapped. I live in an affluent community and often hear of my neighbors far-flung adventures to France, Italy and Costa Rica. One family I met recently actually owns an island off the coast of Spain. I am not trying to compete with that, but how can I give my kids the experience of foreign shores when it is completely out of my reach. Sometimes National Geographic just does’t cut it. I recently took a few days off work to explore my own backyard, we went kayaking (SeaTrek.com), to three beaches (Stinson, Muir Beach and Pt. Reyes) and had some friends over for dinner. Not Africa, but a start. At least I got of the house and out of my routine. I am now looking for adventures around every corner. Chinatown, the Mission District, volunteering at a homeless shelter they are all in the bay area and it is time to explore. My kids won’t be able to talk about Parisian pastries but they can surely try a new cuisinejust around the corner. So I wonder, do any of you have tips for getting out without going broke, weekend getaways on the cheap or even how to get your husband to camp.
Filed under: Children, Motherhood, Parenting, School, Teaching, Uncategorized
I often wonder how I can prepare my kids for the scary land of public school. I have only dim memories of those days when the playgrounds were overwhelmingly huge and the teachers were near god-like in my eyes. Why didn’t I take notes? I worry. No, not about the classroom, about the playground. I want to help my kids navigate the labyrinth of mean kids, school bullies and gossiping friends. Remember dodge ball. It was and is actually allowed. Ugh. I want them to find those friends who are kind and gentle and realize the teachers are mere mortals to be both respected and questioned. How can I help them enjoy these years without being overbearing or interfering. I want them to dream and play and somehow realize this is the only time in their lives when they can swing as high as they want and land safely on the ground.
